Denis Waitley

Dear Friend,

I hope this letter finds you well. Today, I want to discuss a topic that affects every individual in society: marriage and family. It is a topic that has undergone significant changes over the years, with divorce rates skyrocketing and the age of marriage increasing. However, the consequences of not understanding the dynamics of marriage can be dire, leading to broken relationships, dissatisfaction, and unfulfilled dreams.

Let's start by addressing a common illusion that often accompanies marriage. During the ceremony, we hear vows that include promises to stay together "in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer." However, what many fail to grasp is that these words imply an inevitable encounter with both sickness and financial challenges. Ignoring this reality can lead to disappointment and frustration when faced with unforeseen difficulties.

Marriage is not simply a contract or a legal union; it is a profound commitment to be a trusted partner through life's ups and downs. Yet, as time passes, the initial euphoria of being in love diminishes. Chemical changes occur within our bodies, and the intense feelings we associate with romantic love fade away. This transition can bring about a sense of loss and mourning, and if not addressed, can lead to blame and resentment towards our partners.

Forgiveness plays a crucial role in navigating the second stage of marriage. Blaming our spouse for disappointments or shortcomings can create a toxic environment. Instead, shifting our focus towards self-improvement and forgiveness can transform our relationships. Remember the advice of a couple married for over 50 years: "Don't keep score." Instead, focus on the love and care you can offer without expecting something in return.

As marriages progress, reaching the stage of true maturity and commitment is essential for enduring relationships. This stage is marked by genuine love, rooted in a deep understanding and acceptance of one another. Unfortunately, not all couples reach this stage, and divorce becomes a regretful outcome for many.

To build a lasting and fulfilling marriage, seek wisdom from those who have successfully navigated the challenges of married life. Engage in open conversations with couples who have been married for decades and learn from their experiences. Embrace the concept of unconditional love, appreciating and accepting each other's imperfections, while working together to overcome obstacles.

Furthermore, recognize the impact of your family of origin on your own behavior and relationship patterns. Our upbringing shapes our values and behaviors, often unconsciously. By reflecting on our past and seeking guidance from older family members, we can break negative cycles and create positive change within our own families.

Remember, you have the power to set an example for your loved ones. Be mindful of your actions and strive to be a source of inspiration for those around you. Love and respect should flow freely within your family, fostering an environment of growth, support, and mutual appreciation.

The losses that come with not understanding the dynamics of marriage and family are immense. Failed relationships, regrets, and unfulfilled dreams can haunt us for a lifetime. However, by embracing the truths I have shared with you today, you can pave the way for a fulfilling, loving, and enduring marriage.

Take this opportunity to reflect on the insights presented here and make a conscious decision to cultivate a thriving and joyful marriage. Your future happiness and that of your loved ones depend on it.

Wishing you a life filled with love and cherished memories,

Denis Waitley